Inuyasha's Modern Times
by Nevar216
Summary: Inuyasha and Miroku learn wondeful and horrible things in Kagome's time when Inuyasha accidently taking Miroku with him.
1. Stowaway

**Inuyasha's Modern times**

Disclaimer: May I have your attention please... I don't own Inuyasha... That is all.

Author's notes: " " means that someone is talking. ' ' means that some is thinking something or thinking to themselves. "..." Mean that someone is at a lose for words.

Chapter 1 Stowaway

It always begins like this, he'd say something to her she'd misunderstand, he'd say something more, she'd sit him and go home. She always came back, though she comes back late just to spite him more times than not. That being said, when hours went by he'd brood sit in the sacred tree and call her names under his breath. Mind you he was always cautious of Shippou and Sango because they might tell on him.

'Some friends.'

When those hours turned into a day well that sent Inuyasha on the war path. He'd dismiss from mind the fact that Kagome could very well sit him. He'd then call her all types of ungodly names not caring who heard and preceded to go get her. Not before yelling a Sango for trying to talk him out of going to get Kagome, and not before yelling at Shippou for being Shippou and hitting him just to teach him a lesson. This lesson for some reason always eluded Inuyasha, but he was sure Shippou would learn something or get brain damaged. Either way he'd be better for it in the end was Inuyasha logic.

After dispensing much love to the two members of the group he went off to retrieve the spiteful bitch.

He angrily made his way through the village and the forest to the outskirts of the clearing of the Bone Eaters Well.

"... I'll teach Her! to come back when she suppose to..."

So caught up in his musing of how to punish Kagome he didn't notice Miroku waiting there for him at the well.

" Don't want to hear it Miroku I gave the bitch an extra day and she still isn't back."

" Now calm down Inuyasha I am sure Kagome has her reason for being late. She may have something important to do at school or other important thing at home."

Miroku said in his most calming voice. Miroku really liked Kagome, she was always the one that convinced Sango to bathe in the openness of the hot spring instead of in Kaede's hut where all the males except Shippou had to leave. If she didn't come back soon, he'd never see their lovely naked skin again. If Inuyasha went to get her in this state she'd take a longer time coming back.

'So being the good Monk I am I have to help myself... I mean my friends.'

"Besides I don't think she's forgiven you yet."

"You don't think she's forgiven me... I don't need her fucking forgiveness I need her here to help find the Shard of the Jewel which if I might add she broke."

" But Inuyasha what if she won't come."

"Then I'll drag the bitch back kicking and screaming if need be." "Now ...get...the ...fuck ..out ..of..my..way!"

Inuyasha closed the distance between him and the well. But he still had a problem Miroku seem hellbent on keeping him from his goals.

"Miroku you know what your problem is?"

Inuyasha said sticking his finger in the air as if that would help in bringing his point across better.

" No Inuyasha." Miroku said indifferently.

"You let these bitches walk all over you."

" I don't let women walk all over me Inuyasha, but if they like to they could..." He smile lecherously.

"..."

"And aren't you the one that's always being sat."

" That's all happenstance I have no control over anything magical Kagome has over me."

" Oh your right Inuyasha, no control..."

"Good you see it my way now I say it again but for the last time, move!"

Inuyasha swung his leg over the edge of the well and prepared to enter the well to Kagome side. That's when Miroku made his last dispread attempt to stop Inuyasha he latched his arms around Inuyasha neck and inadvertently pushed the both of them off into the well where the landed roughly in Kagome's time.

Author's notes:

Well the first Chapter is always the hardest, especial if you deleted it without saving and have to do it all over again.

Don't you just fill badly for me? Good then review!


	2. WELL never talk of this again

**Inuyasha's Modern Times**

Disclaimer: Inuyasha well never be mine... (cry)

Author's notes: " " means that someone is talking. ' ' means that some is thinking something or thinking to themselves. "..." Mean that some one is at a lose for words.

Chapter 2 WELL never talk of this again

It was a dream to conquer all dreams, he knew it was a dream cause he could have never been this lucky in life. So like always he indulged it play it for everything it was worth, and oh, today features include Sango and Kagome one of he's all time favorite.

(Dream ) Lime and such! You were warned.

" Don't worry my dear Sango Inuyasha and Shippou well be out hunting for a while and Kagome has just gone back to her time no one well see, we have the hut to ourselves."

Miroku say running his hands through Sango long silky hair.

' Long...?'

He ran his hand down her neck under her shirts running his hands over her petit breast.

'Petit... ?

Sango is not as full figured as Kagome but is her breasts this small?' ' No mind I am not a breast man anyway.'

He kisses her lightly on the lips and slip his hand down and behind her giving bottom a good squeeze. Which induce a low moan from Sango, more like a growl really ( Blind people can see where this is going.) almost unhuman.

"Like that do you Sango?"

Miroku says while rubbing her bottom. Just then Kagome comes running into the hut.

" Hey guys I forgot my book ba..."

She never got the to finish her notice Sango sprawled out on a futon and Miroku hovering over her and where was his hand placed?

" Kagome ..." Sango says headily "I can explain."

"Explain... Explain! All this time I thought I was your friend and now here you are and...

" Sorry Kagome I should have told you are my friend after all, is there any thing I can do to make this up to you."

"... I don't know Sango..."

Miroku decided that he had an ideal that could clean up this whole mess.

" Yes Sango you well make it up to Kagome..."

He smiles seductively and says ... " Kagome care to join us."

She smiles. "Why Miroku I thought, you'd never ask."

'Yes funny will be had by all.'

Oh how wrong he well find himself to be in these next instances.

Kagome made her way over to Sango and Miroku. Wrapping he arms around his waist kissing the back of his neck while he made his way back up to Sango breasts. He slightly turned his head so that he could fill Kagome wet lips on his. She runs her hand down his chest. He let out a low moan.

"...Kagome."

He returns his attention to the lovely beauty below him removing his hands from her breast he starts, with the help of Kagome to remover her close. He takes his time, allowing Kagome to remover Sango top while he runs his hands over her legs her milky white thighs. He pauses for a minute or for effect he really didn't know. He ventures up her thigh even further to her womanhood and...

"..."

" You Bastard."

Inuyasha screams half cloth push the offending Monk off him quickly, moving to the other side of the bottom of the well.

" Inuyasha It's not what it looks like I can explain... you see Sango...small breast... and Kagome's bag...and joining us...Sango had a dic..."

"Shut up Miroku..."

"But Inuyasha I was just trying to explain what I was doing to you when you..."

" Nothing happened! and WE'LL never talk of it again."

" But..."

" I said NOTHING HAPPENED!"

Just then Kagome's cat Buyo made his presence known, well I would say he was there the whole time. Inuyasha thought he saw laughter in his eyes. ( But what he really saw was that stuff that cats get in their eyes when they get a cold. And if you don't keep it clean their eyes get glues shut. Then you try to get it out but they run from you. And in their attempt too hide from you they run into things like the couch, tables, walls, phone cords, Grandma and her new hip.)

" NOTHING HAPPENED YOU STUPID! FUCKING CAT!"

Inuyasha screams at the top of his lugs.

This earned a " meow" for Buyo.

" What's that suppose to mean? ARE YOU TRY TO SAY I AM GAY?" Inuyasha ranted.

Out of nowhere or what seemed like nowhere to Inuyasha, Miroku appeared.

"Inuyasha that's just a cat." Miroku says trying to calm Inuyasha down " Like you said nothing happened."

"DON'T TOUCH ME!"

He says while try to move as far away from Miroku a humanly or in this case demonly possible.

" I know nothing happened but try telling him that."

Inuyasha points to the fat cat cleaning himself on the lips of the well. Miroku sweat dropped.

' Yeah I'll do just that'

While Miroku was trying to figure out how to calm Inuyasha down so he would get them out of the well Inuyasha lost what little composure he had.

" He's going to say something I just know." " Then everybody will know what happened."

"Nothing happened Inuyasha." He Ignored Miroku and went on...

" God, words spread, you know what if Kouga finds out he'll never let me live it down."

" God, What about Kagome, Kikyou, Naraku, oh god no Sesshoumaru!"

" It was just a dream about Sango and Kagome." He Ignored Miroku and went on...

" Sesshoumaru... Why didn't I think about him first, he's already want to kill me now he can try while making fun of me."

"Inuyasha shouldn't we get out of the well."

"Your right Miroku I have to get that cat before he goes running his mouth."

Inuyasha made ready to jump, seeing this Miroku put all causation and the reminder of Inuyasha sanity or lack there of aside and latched onto the half-crazed demon. Inuyasha jumped out of the well landing safely on the grown. He then set out to confront the malevolent cat.

He made a grab for buyo's neck but the cat was surprisingly fast giving it weight.

" Inuyasha... Miroku said from Inuyasha back.

" AHHHHHHHHH... WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING MIROKU I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH ME ."

"Yes I know but I had to get out the well some how."

In the mix of this they never noticed Kagome's Grand father making his way to the door of the well house an opening it.

" What all the commotion.?"

"Oh Inuyasha nice to see you and you bought a friend with you."

Buyo jumped into the old man arms and looked at Inuyasha and Miroku.

"Meow" It said.

The eerie calm that came over the room when Kagome's grand father entered was gone.

" You heard it it's making fun of me I'll get you, you fucking fur ball."

And the madness ensued...

I really think this chap was better than the first. Please review and I'll write more.


	3. When is closeis too close or Bad touch

**Inuyasha's Modern Times**

Disclaimer: I do not own this fiction... this fiction owns me!

Author's notes: " " means that someone is talking. ' ' means that some is thinking something or thinking to themselves. "..." Mean that someone is at a lose for words.

I was at this party one day and this guy came up to me and said... "hmm I've been watching you for a while and it looks like we are both here for the same thing.." I replied "I am here looking for guys and if you are here looking for the same thing I don't want to talk to you."

Chapter 3 When is close too close or Bad touch

It was hard stopping a half demon half out of his mind but just like Kagome her mother could subdue Inuyasha, and without the sit command. Miroku was amazed. Seeing how she didn't know what didn't happen with him and Inuyasha and the cat and all. All it took was the promise of meat and ramen and that seal the deal. She even got him to put off his impending search for Kagome, who is currently at a slumber party with three of her devout friends.

Kagome mother drag him and Miroku, with Grampa in toe to the house.

" You and your friend can use Kagome's room while you stay here."

Inuyasha panicked.

" No, I not sleeping in the same room with him."

Miroku shook his head and sighed. 'You'd think he'd get over that it not like I enjoyed it.'

Kagome's mom didn't miss a beat she rubbed his triangular white ear and explained that she understood, when she really didn't. She told him she'd put Miroku in Souta room. She told him he could go into the kitchen and pick two of his favorite ramen flavorer for a before dinner snake. And he was off, mumbling something about how he wouldn't leave his child with a sexual predator who molests people when they're unable to defend themselves.

Kagome's mom didn't bat a lash( **Autho**r: Why is this women always cool under the most strained circumstances?) although she didn't keep her back to Miroku for long, she's heard all her daughter stories about the famed lecherous monk. She quickly turned around just in time to greet him with a hand shake that was meant for her bottom.

"Mr.. . . ?"

" oh haa...haa. ...just Miroku."

" It's nice to meet you "Just Miroku"."

He laughed uncomfortably all the while she still shaking his hand. He looked at their intertwined hand and smile a tooth cracking smile. She came closer than social necessary.

"I've been told so much about you I fill I already know you."

She told him steal shaking his hand.

" We're having an early dinner then I will leave you boys to you own devices, but Souta and Grampa will be here and they can help you with whatever you need."

Still, shaking his hand.

"Oh..?"

He said nervously. Voices cracking like a 13-year-old boy, all the while she hasn't let go of his hand.

'Doesn't she know the meaning of personal space?'

"Yes I am afraid. I have a sick friend I have to visit in the next town, I maybe away for the whole night... and..."

She went on seemingly oblivious of how uncomfortable she was making him. Uncomfortable cause he couldn't use his hand for what they were meant for, uncomfortable because she was eerily close and unsuspecting, uncomfortable because that's never stopped him before. Yes he was very uncomfortable to say the least.

"... I hope you have fun while you waiting for Kagome. There's so much here to see and do."

" Uhm... what are we doing." He said eyeing the yet to be separated hands.

"...we were talking, now your asking a question."

"..."

" Know what was I saying... oh yes, and if you need anything ask Souta."

" You said that."

"Your right I guess I did, forgive this woman in her old age."

She laughed and if he wasn't mistaken got a little closer. Usually he would have said something flattening with a touch of shameless flirtation. Some thing like...

...No, no, no your not old, but well aged like a fine sake. Ready to be tasted, savored, relished slowly as the night goes on. Then, and only then should you be finished off with the roll of the tongue.

But there was none of that. He, while she still was holding his hand, tried to if he could slip it away from her unnoticed...

(Author's deranged ranting, filler is good ;-)

-And you know what?

No what?

-Do you really want to know?

I ask didn't I?

-Well if your going to be like that...

No, I was just trying to say I'd like to know.

-It didn't sound like that to me.

What did it sound like then?

-You know what I am tired of your put downs.

I wasn't putting you down I just wanted to know.

- What I'd like to know is who's Brittney

I don't know any Brittnys.'

- Oh really! She was on your mind last night when we were together.

- My mother was right about you Frank.

- I am leaving and you can keep the kids.

Kids? Frank ? Who's Frank?

- Oh Uhm... He didn't get his hand free not even a little bit.

Oh ahhh ahhh ahhh that's funny (sigh)

Who's Frank?

- No one. I love you Fred...?

"..."

- Phillip?

No!

- Jaso...

Not even close.

- Whoever you are I love you okay! God!

Whatever!

( End of Author's deranged ranting)

No such luck it just wouldn't come free. Just then Inuyasha enters the room that housed an uncomfortable monk and an overzealous Mother of two. He had a few noodles still hanging from the sides of his mouth but other than that nothing was different about his demeanor. One would say that his conduct was right on after eating four cups of ramen, when he was sternly told to have just two. He notices the vice like hold the two seem to be holding his instinct took over, instinct being: an inborn tendency or impulse to behave in a certain way. And his impulse coming from the well incident that will not be spoken of again, and just knowing Miroku told him that whatever was wrong was Miroku fault. Inuyasha eyed Miroku suspiciously.

" Hey, you aren't trying to hit on KAGOME'S! mom are you Miroku."

Miroku was at a lose for word. Not because of Inuyasha accusation but rather Kagome's mother actions.

She let go of Miroku which would have been the wrong move in another situation but it's wasn't that kind of situation, well not any more. Our dear, dear Miroku, the monk that always works his was from the bottom literally was as timid as a abused pup; and let me tell you Miroku knew about abuse. She smiled and relied...

"Who Miroku-kun? No he was the perfect gentleman."

She winked and bumped the side of her hips to his.

"..."

Was Miroku impudent trademark reply...(not)

That was as good enough answer for him and he went to sit on the couch none to close to Buyo.

"Sleep with one eye open MEAT!"

He said to the cat.

Miroku and his new found inadequacies joined Inuyasha on the couch hands folded in lap. Kagome's mother mean while set out to make dinner for her interesting guests. Smiling all the while thinking...

' Isn't that just like a man wanting something then backing down when it's presented to them?'

She laughed and then got a wicked ideal. She back away from what she was doing so that she could be seen in the kitchen doorway and call to the them...

" If I don't get some help in her dinners going tot be late."

Inuyasha got up grumbling.

" Feh... I guess I'll help."

"No Inuyasha you seem to be under a lot of stress lately you sit down I am sure Miroku-kun will help me."

"..."

"Okay you heard her monk you have to earn you meal tonight."

Inuyasha said pushing Miroku off the couch. He took his time getting to the kitchen hoping for anything to happen to get him out of this. He thought of ever thing short of payer.

'Earn? What will she expect as payment?'

His perverted mind worked on in it's usually lecherous way. He finally made it to the door of the kitchen and picked his head though.

"Uhm... you said you need some help?"

"Oh yes thank you. I need help cutting the vegetables. Come here let me show you how."

He walks over to her she stood behind him and he visibly stiffens. She bring her had to his beaded one putting the knife in it and while leaning her chin over his shoulders, giggles...

"You cut them into little pieces, likes so."

Her breathe on his lower lobe should have set him off but it didn't. He quickly assure her that he got the just of it and nervously went to work.

Dinner was ready after several run in with Kagome's mom absently bumping up against him in a rather large kitchen. And not a moment to soon for Mirokus liking.

They sat down to eat, him making sure that he sat no where remotely close to Kagome's mom.

'Good, good now it was time to have a good home cooked meal.'

He asked Inuyasha could he pass the ramen and he did. He was about to thank him but...

" THANK you INUYAHSA."

Miroku half yelled earning him looks from three of the four other dinner at the table. The fourth dinner was smiling innocently enough with her toes tickling Miroku's more sensitiva area.

" God Miroku what's wrong with you today."

"..."

He tried to push the offending foot away and not draw attention. Suddenly Inuyasha heard a purr and felt something furry rub up against him under the table. He went in for the kill.

"This end tonight you fur ridden miscreant."

**Author note:** I always wanted to say or use miscreant in a sentence but it's hard in this day and age to do so. (sigh)

Under the table he witnessed the most depraved act imaginable. There in Miroku's crotch

was Kagome's mother foot. And not just her foot here foot moving in kinda circular motions. He came up unnoticed, eyes as big a saucers. Kagome mother notice this and with a worried look still not breaking he action under the table...

" Inuyasha are you okay isn't the food to you liking."

" No it's fine I am just not very hunger."

Inuyasha took a drink of water: Grampa filling left out because he hasn't had a line in this chapter all day and him being the real star of the series and the other his back up decided to put his two cents in.

"Inuyasha not hunger something must be afoot."

Inuyasha preceded to spray the person sitting across from him with his drink which happened to be Souta.

Kagome mother could do nothing but laugh at the state of affairs.

" Afoot indeed."

Miroku finally said closing his thighs lightly around her foot trapping it. Kagome mother blushed iridescently while Miroku went on hold her retreating foot in place.

" I think he still having a HARD time eating without Kagome"

Miroku said sinking back into his old ways. She saw his point, well more like felt it really.

He looked over to the socked woman and smile.

"You look like your having a HARD time as well."

He smiled even more lecherous than ever if that were possible.

" Maybe after dinner I'll lend you a helping hand."

He winked at her. ' I fill lot better.'

Inuyasha turned paled.

" Nothing right anymore!"

Under the table a meow was uttered.

" Dammed cat."

The End plz review tell me what you thought


	4. The evil and pure I mean good Miroku

**Inuyasha's Modern Times**

Disclaimer: May I have your attention please... I don't own Inuyasha... and I would never do anything inappropriate with Miroku or any one else for that matter.

Author's notes: " " means that someone is talking. ' ' means that some is thinking something or thinking to themselves. "..." Mean that someone is at a lose for words.

And Happy Birthday to Andrew he's finally go around to reading my fiction. I love you Andy even if you don't leave reviews and your wife is my big butt cousin. I hope you liked the Baseball tickets I got you fro your wedding present. Tell Ellen I sorry she could use them.

Chapter 4 The evil and pure... I mean good Miroku

Miroku felt horrible she wasn't really coming on to him but trying to teach him a lesson.

He's wish more women would try to teach him lessons like that and reward he with a prize that suited the lesson, but he digress. He was sitting in a dark room that wasn't dark listening to himself argue with... well himself except one of himself wasn't himself but was more like Inuyasha in a Miroku suit. The dull pain in the back of his head wasn't helping either. Just then the Mirokus broke into a all out war...

...Of words mind you, Miroku was a lover not a fighter if he could help it.

"How did I get here?"

(Flash Back)

It was sometime after dinner, Miroku volunteered to help Kagome's mother clean away the remnants of supper. This time it wasn't her who was doing the touching in a rather large kitchen. Miroku had touched her more times than someone one a crowed train would accidentally touch her. She let all that slip by as she glared murderously at the container that she store the leftovers in.

Inuyasha and the other member of the family had long ago retire to their own devices. More like fled from the lust glee that was exudate from what seem like Miroku very being. Even Inuyasha was afraid, he had covered his nose as if he caught wind of something that was very inappropriate and fled for dear sanity. The rest of the family fallowed suit leaving her there with a oversexed perverted monk. She absently addressed no one as she glaring yet again at the door where her cowardly family and the family DOG! left.

" Blood thicker than water my ass..."

She would have chose he word better if she had time to think more.

"... and what a nice ass that is." He then proceeded to squeeze it just to show her how much he meant it.

That was it, the last straw that long ago should've broken the camels back. " Miroku I wasn't really coming on to you I was trying to teach you a lesson about how it fills to have some one make you fill awkward. And it was working for a while, wonder what happen?"

Miroku frayed dramatically. She felt guilty about what she had done to him.

"I am sorry Miroku, I really am I hope you could forgive me."

He hung his head milking her guilty just till she... Yes! The habitual guilty hug that women gave when they fill sorry for what they have done.

Then she felt his hand go round her and slip down to her bottom.

' I should have know better.'

She thought laconically.

So she did what any other woman in her place would do...

(Personal I would have lit some scented candles, poured some sparkling cider for 2, put the good silk sheets on the bed, and put in one of my Barry White or Marvin Gay CD... "Sexual healing is good for me...

...Forget I said that... I am a baaaaaaad girrl.

... she scream indignantly.

That's when the pain started, if he wasn't mistaken and in his mind he never was; it was just others who were wrong he was always right. While he sunk into unconscious he was sure he hear the unforgettable utter of "FEH" and all went black.

(End of flash back)

He'd woke in this place with two of himselve and the conversation that was in play was nothing if not disturbing. Here he was and to his right him dressed in all white...

" How could you say that about gods gift to men the ever endearing, the ever loving, the sexually sensuous...

To his left him dressed in all black...

"THAT WOMEN she wanted us she just was being a bitch about it..."

"I am just say they're all BITCHES Sango, Kagome, Kagura, Kikyou, Kirara...

... though I have never tried anything with her I swear."

**Him in white**:

" You lie remember that time when everyone was away and you couldn't go because you drank to much sake at that village and Kirara looked so..."

**Him in black**:

"...Ok! lets not get into all of that now beside nothing happened."

**Him in white**:

"...Riiiiight..."

" Is that why Kirara always hisses and scratch at us every time we get it to one foot of her?"

" Anyways I know she wanted us they all do, so she was just playing hard to get she wasn't being a bitch."

Miroku eyed this version of himself cynically.

" Aren't you suppose to be my good side, pure and all that?"

**Him in white**:

" You don't have a pure side, good maybe but not pure. You have a kind giving yet perverted side if that'll help you sleep at night."

Miroku eyed him cynically.

" But your wearing white."

**Him in white**:

" Hee.. hee... this is mother of pearl."

He gestured at his robs that were just like Miroku just pure white... I mean cough... cough... motherofpearl.

**Him in black**: Hey you stupid monk get up right now...

He woken to find Inuyasha in mid-kick about to deliver another to his shoulder. About was the word and in it being just that it had no place if the act was prevented and he did. He grabbed Inuyasha leg and pull making the hanyou fall much like the sit command that he gets from Kagome exsept he falls on his back.

" Still not worst than Kagome's sits."

Inuyasha states sarcastically.

"Hey are you going to lay around all day or are you going to watch the magic box that have people trapped in it with us." "And Souta is going to make something call pipedcorn."

Just then Souta walked by holding a bowl of popcorn.

"It's not pipecorn, it's popcorn Inuyasha and we call it television not magic box."

He then proceeded to the living room and sat on the couch next to grandpa who had the television on flicking though the channels.

Inuyasha held his hand out and help Miroku up. They then joined the other and watch the marvels of modern day entertainment.

I am going to leave it at that if you have some suggestion please tell me them. And to those who want to know how I come up with these fiction: Well most of them start in the shower. I am telling you every single fiction up until now came to me while in the shower. Then I work it out on paper or I just start typing it out. The ones I workout on paper tend to take more time to finish like this one. But the other ones take a day and a half giving my mood... cause I have the attention span equal to, but not greater that some of the animal kingdoms smatter monkeys sometimes.

So you know what to do please review. And spare me the "you're a poet and you didn't know it" jargon lol.


	5. Television really does rot you brain

**Inuyasha's Modern Times**

Disclaimer: I do not own no Inuyasha... yo Also do I not own any rights to any songs in this fic or any future fics ... yo

Author's notes: " " means that someone is talking. ' ' means that some is thinking something or thinking to themselves. "..." Mean that someone is at a lose for words.

Chapter 5: Television really does rot you brain

Inuyasha and Miroku entered the family room that houses the television.

" Hey he's finally awake, what are we watching."

Inuyasha asked.

"MTV"

Grandpa happily reply while staring at random video women shake their asses.

Inuyasha blushed profusely at what he saw. Women dress in all kinds of obscenely lewd manners. Shaking their bottom at anyone who would look their way.

'What the hell are they watching?'

He looks at Souta who seems to sing along to the equity obscene song.

'What the hell is he sing to?'

He stop ranting in his head long enough to take in what the song is say.

(Souta singing along with the song)

... Lil' Kim notta whore but I sex a nigger so good he got tell his boys.

When come to sex don't test my skill cause my head game have you head over hill.

Give a nigger the chills, have him pay my bill, buy matching Land Rovers with the same color wheels. When I not out shopping spending dudes sea note, I in the crib giving nigger beep throat...

"What the hell is wrong with you people? Do you know what that... that woman is say? Why are we watching this shit?"

.. You girl cal the crib I m answering the phone guys wanna wife me give me a ring . I do it time, anywhere, I am down for anything. Couple of hump give a nigger goose bumps this junk in my trunk is not made for chumps.

Some how between the time of his observing and his total embarrassment Miroku some how materialize on the couch between Souta and Grandpa.

" Now, Now Inuyasha we shouldn't judge a culture on they differences we shoul...

...did she just say I'll put your face in it?"

Miroku ask wide eyed , because he had some ideals on what she could mean but he wanted to confirm it just the same.

(Souta singing along with the song)

... I know you sprung off in you tung, I know your tasting it..

**50 Cent part:** Sex ant a race.

**Lil' Kim part:** But I have a thug nigger braking records. Time this...

**50 Cent part:** 1 min. 6 sec. Magic stick.

**Lil' Kim part:** I got the magic box...

Miroku was in love, just then and there he forgot all about the little Kagome's mother debacle.

"This Lil' Kim Person is and artist Inuyasha you should respect her point of view."

"Shut up stupid monk it's not her point of view your respecting."

"I beg to differ Inuyasha." Miroku say with a lecherous smirk.

"I respect all the points of viewing her... I mean all her points of view."

Inuyasha finally over the sock that is Lil' Kim takes a set far from Miroku but close in view of the television. There he eyes Miroku skeptically.

"Riiiiiiiiiightttt! I'll believe that the day Sango bears you a child."

Miroku block Inuyasha and opt for a chance to question the family about the new object of he unquenchable lust. He weight his options... Kagome's Grandpa who was old and wise and closeted pervert if there ever was one, or Souta who was young and innocent

and modernized... who seem to be sing along excitingly to some gay looking men calling themselves the "Back Street Boys". He wasn't even going to touch that one. He looked at Souta sing along to the sone...

(Souta singing along with the song)

All you people can't you, see can't you, how you love effecting our reality...

Maybe he'll sleep with Inuyasha in Kagome's room tonight. He slither a little away from Souta because the boy was getting all emotional, doe eyed, and dramatic.

(Souta singing along with the song)

... And that makes you larger than life.

Miroku felt he had to say something but he wait till the video was over out of some deep down fear that he would be throttled within a inch of his life if he interrupted Souta performance.

"Uh... Souta you like this kind of music do yah?"

"Yeah they are so cool they are my favorite band."

Miroku look at Souta with confusion.

"Band? like the Band of 7."

"No, no they are a all boy band they sing and dance and stuff."

Out of no where in particular Souta whips out a small poster of the same "MEN" from the video. They were wearing silk oversized shirts in pastel coloring with they chest hanging out. Two of them were touching themselves in a semi-provocative way making the same semi-provocative eye contact. He visibly shuddered.

"Yeah I get that way too they are such cool guys."

Souta offered with a wanton far away look in his eyes.

"I'll show you the other stuff tonight when you come to sleep with me in my room.

"I got poster, T-shirts, CDS, DVDS, Playing Cards, Trading Cards and... "

"You don't say..."

Miroku decide maybe it would be so bad if he slept in Kagome room with Inuyasha tonight. He looked to said person, who was mumbling to himself with a mouth full of popcorn.

"Feh, I would want to be alone in a well with those guys."

Maybe he try to get Kagome's room to himself.

"Hey Inuyasha Why don't you sleep in Souta's room tonight he has all this stuff he wan to show you."

Souta jumped up excitingly.

"That'd be cool Inuyasha, I could show you all my stuff, we could listen to my back street boy CDS."

" What ever kid just don't keep me up all night."

Relieved that was settled he went back to watching T.V. just in time to see another video with his lady love grinding with some guy who was sing about bottoms.

(Song)

...This is my song for real, no doubt  
Said the DJ's making me feel thugged out  
As I walk you to the dance floor  
We begin to dance slow  
Put your arms around me  
I'm feelin' on your booty

"Hey Miroku, you think he might be you reincarnation." Inuyasha say while laughing.

...Hey pretty mama how you doing?  
Said I'm just in town for the weekend  
Looking for a little trouble to get into  
Baby tell me what you're drinking  
And I got you, ooh

Playas wanna play  
Ballers wanna ball  
Rollers wanna roll  
But I'm taking off after I dance, oh yeah

"Shut up Inuyasha!"

Now you're body's got me feelin' like spending  
With a backroom I could come to live in  
And your hair weave looking kind of pretty  
The way you back it up on me baby  
Lord have mercy

Playas wanna play  
Ballers wanna ball  
Rollers wanna roll  
But I'm taking off after I dance, yeah

"Now, now Miroku I am just expressing my point of "You" right?"

...If it's your birthday  
Then put your hands up  
You wanna get drunk  
Then put your hands up  
And if you got some cash  
Then put your hands up  
Have your own job  
Put your hands up

"I hope you have new found view and experience when Souta show you his STUFF tonight Inuyasha".

Playas wanna playBallers wanna ball  
Rollers wanna roll  
Feel so good, say it again  
Playas wanna play  
Ballers wanna ball  
Rollers wanna roll  
But I'm taking off after I dance, oh yeah

"What the hell are you talking about monk?"

"Oh nothing. I don't care. Hey Souta what the deal with this guy is he and Lil Kim together?"

" Oh no, he like the girls he pees on to be young."

Souta said matter factly.

"Hey Inuyasha My favorite back street boy is JT, what's your's."

Inuyasha asks Miroku again what he meant by that Souta stuff statement.

"Nothing Inuyasha now be quit the next video is coming on."

Grandpa shouts out...

"Oh, Oh this one's my favorite it that Sir looks a lot or was it Licks a lot ? Anyway This is my favorite video"

(Song)

I like big butts and I can not lie you other brother can't deny...

Inuyasha thinks to his self about what Miroku said, not being one to be quick on the up take he drops it, that is until...

"Meow..."

Buyo jump it to his lap and fall asleep.

Souta reaches over to stroke Buyo fur.

"I hope you don't mind Inuyasha Buyo sometime sleep with me... "

Then Souta hand slips...

I am going to end it at that tell me if you like this chapter I know I said I wasn't going to write until I revise my fanfictions but I had to this chapter has been eating at me for 2 weeks. Please as alway review


	6. Ladies and Gentlemen Miroku

**Inuyasha's Modern Times**

Disclaimer: A guy walks into a bar the bartender say what will you have. The guy say I'll have the I don't own Inuyasha on the rocks, an a I don't own any song in this fic chaser.

I am so sorry about that. I've had writes block and I ask my cousin for a joke and that what she gave me so sooooo sorry!

Author's notes: " " means that someone is talking. ' ' means that some is thinking something or thinking to themselves. "..." Mean that someone is at a lose for words. ( ) Mean when someone is thinking to them selves.

**Chapter 6 Ladies and Gentlemen Miroku**

Inuyasha was dreading bed time he had three option

1. Go sleep with Souta and get molested.

2. Sleep with Miroku and violated.

3 Go sleep with the old guy...?

Three is what he was opting for but with all the male attention he was getting now a day he really didn't want to press his luck. What if the old guy want to 'Get his freak on' as one of those video call it on the MTV. He would be sexual traumatized for the rest of his life. Every time he got in the mood; Kagome willing, he'd think about the old man, and his wrinkles and his...

Inuyasha visible shudder and decided he didn't even want to venture to a place like that. That was for a mind even more perverted than Miroku's.

So he went with his second choice in sleeping with Miroku. He had to he could very well kill Kagome's brother could he?

"..."

He had to go with Miroku cause he could at least beat the monk into and unnatural sleep, you know from the concussion he was bond to give him. He just make it up to Souta in a just friends sort of way. Maybe he could teach the boy some manly thing to do with his time. Not the manly thing men do in Kagome's time, but the kind they do in his. Like maybe they'd go kill something or chop some wood.

So caught up in his own lunacy he didn't notice everyone had gone of to bed. He hope of the couch and ascended the stairs to Kagome's room. He opened the door to find Miroku fast asleep. Letting out the breath he didn't know he was holding and distrustfully slipped in the bed next to the dreaming monk.

"This is going to be easier than I thought. If the monk stays asleep at this rate I just might..."

He didn't get to finish his words, being -...get a decent night sleep."

Why? You ask Miroku was a man of habit and being that he tended to do thing repetitively.

Like dreaming perversely and then acting it out in reality. Forcing any nearby individual to participate in his deviant sexual playfulness. He should have know better than to come in here with this man.

'I mean really what could Souta have done?'

While in thought he almost miss Miroku's acting out in his sleep. But not being one to be assaulted twice or was it three time now he really need to start keeping track of these thing, he shook his head and left the bed for Souta's room.

As he left though, he swore he heard Miroku singing...

"Oh, na, na, na, na, na, na. Your body na, na, na, na. Oh, na, na, na, na, na, na. You're body, na na na na."

" God's I need sleep."

Inuyasha said as he slamming the door behind him.

**The beginning of dream:** a Miroku side story

Miroku stirred in his sleep but didn't wake instead he drifted back into a dream...

"I want to sing a song just for the ladies."

He said.

"Can I get a red light from the fella's working the lights tonight."

Almost right away two read light show on a Miroku deck out in a black tux, and cap, with a matching black masquerade mask.

"People please give it up to these guy they'll be working hard tonight, but compare to them I'll be hardly working."

He waves his hand referring to the light men. People clap and yell Miroku's name, a plump woman throw he panties on stage. Miroku picks them up promptly and stuff them in his pocket.

The light men roll their eyes.

"Faux, self deprecating, bastard hope he's this friendly when it's time to pays us ."

One light man shines a light on Miroku crotch where he hasn't seem to notice that he hasn't zip up. The crowd of mostly women, and men ( men, whom by the way have in the personal possessions every Barbie© every made, and Cher CD known to man.) go wild. Miroku looks down at himself smirks then looks up to no one really knew, could have been god or the light people and says thank you with a thump up. He go on to say...

"As I was say I like to sing a song just for you ladies..."

He start...

"Oh, na, na, na, na, na, na. Your body, na, na, na, na. Oh, na, na, na, na, na, na. You're body, na na na na."

"Turn the lights down low. I'm ready to break it off. Since computer love, been wanting to set it  
off."

More panties adorn the stage. This time a few stage hands ascend the stage and collect them for safe keeping. Knowing Miroku likes to handle each and every one personally after each and every show.

"Like a hotel room I'm checkin' into you. I'm diggin' like a shovel all the things you do."

As Miroku trust his hip in a dance like motion as he sings the I'm checkin' into you verse,

he stops one of the stage hands, who has in his possession a red thong. He quickly take hold of

the modest little thing and roll it over his finger while the crow chant his name none the wiser.

The stage hand rolls his eyes and shakes his head and run back stage with his had full of panties.

He takes out of his pocket an anti-bacterial lotion and rubs in his hand after he put away Miroku's collectable.

"Jakotsu you should have stayed in school and become a dentist like mother told you."

He say to himself while watch the pervert sing to his fan.

"I must have done something really bad in a former life to be worthy of this appalling job."

He say while noticing one of Miroku's male fans has some how made it back stage. He eyes the boy of about 18 or 19 lustfully.

"Would you like to meet him after the show."

He asks the guy.

"I'd do anything to meet him."

Jakosu smile.

"Yes you will ."

He take another look on stage as he guides the boy of to some unseen place, on stage yet again panties pilot they're way to the stage.

" I really hate women..."

He goes off all the while Miroku still sing and stage hands catch panties

"Take a leep over the broom that's how you're makin' me on in this room and let's keep it real and go."

At the apex of the coming chorus various scantily clad women advance one the stage gyration and grinding on Miroku. He seizes one of these women and turn her so she's facing the audience. They then roll their hip rhythmically whilst he and she sing the next chorus closely into the microphone.

"Half on a baby all I need is your body next to me. Singing ooh, na, na, na, na, na, na, na. Give me your body, your body, na, na, na, na."

They sing in together.

"Half on a baby all I need is your body next to me. Singing ooh, na, na, na, na, na, na, na.Give me your body, your body, na, na, na, na."

He turns her around to face him with his hand on the small of he back and repeat the same rhythmical motion as his hand works it way to her bottom.

"Half on a baby all I need is your body next to me. Singing ooh, na, na, na, na, na, na, na.Give me your body, your body, na, na, na, na."

He sing into her ear.

"Now tell me what the deal is. Are you ready to bump. It's gonna take a lifetime to give you all of this love. So baby, open up and get ready to receive a miracle of love Gettin' down wit me."

"Like a baseball field wanna hit a home run. Me and you get together babe and raise a little one."

"Half on a baby all I need is your body next to me. Singing ooh, na, na, na, na, na, na, na.Give me your body, your body, na, na, na, na."

"Half on a baby all I need is your body next to me. Singing ooh, na, na, na, na, na, na, na.Give me your body, your body, na, na, na, na."

"Set it off in a six baby, that'll be cool Take a trip downtown between me and you.

He slide down her leg.

"Trippin' on Perignon conversation like what. Not afraid to go down Once you open up after nine to five. You deserve some twelve makin' future plans to be where I dwell."

"Half on a baby all I need is your body next to me. Singing ooh, na, na, na, na, na, na, na.Give me your body, your body, na, na, na, na."

"Half on a baby all I need is your body next to me. Singing ooh, na, na, na, na, na, na, na.Give me your body, your body, na, na, na, na."

"From my toes up to my knee caps, to waist line. Now slowly lady can we go half on a baby. From my toes up to my knee caps to waist line. Now slowly lady can we go half on a baby"

"Half on a baby all I need is your body next to me. Singing ooh, na, na, na, na, na, na, na.Give me your body, your body, na, na, na, na."

"Half on a baby all I need is your body next to me. Singing ooh, na, na, na, na, na, na, na.Give me your body, your body, na, na, na, na."

The song end with all the women kneeling at Miroku feet he walks to the end of the stage pull some woman out of the crowed and give her a passionate kiss. Thanks his fans and walks of the stage.

Back stage he ask one of the stage hands if his little after show activity is ready.

"Uh... sure it is Miroku it's in you dressing room."

Miroku runs off to his dressing. Upon arrival he turns the nob and steps into the large room. walking over to his make-up table he take a step into a chair, strip naked and climb onto the table. He then proceeds to jump diver into the second world's largest heap of panties. Only second to that Tom Jones guy.

"Dame you Tom Jones, dame you to hell."

He say fist shaking in air, then jump into the pile of panties and makes swimming like motion. Smiling like the cat the got into the catnip. He the proceeds to swim backwards then forwards again.

He all of a sudden fills someone pull at him.

"Miroku..."

He see a naked Inuyasha hovering behind him reaching touch his naked body, whispering his name something really big and hard poking him.

"Miroku..."

Miroku pops up from his dream quickly and screams.

" NO INUYASHA KEEP YOU GRIME HAND OFF ME AND MY PANTIES I AM NOT LIKE THAT. THINK OF KAGOME, IF NOT THINK OF HOW MUCH PAIN WHAT YOUR ATTEMPTING WILL CAUSE"

"MIROKU.!"

" I am to young and innocent for this."

Inuyasha was very piss and confuse at this point. He had went to Souta's room to get some sleep only to be tricked into Souta odd plan. He also learn that the reason the boy like those boy bands so much is because the get girls. Just what he needed another Miroku. After shedding his clothing to get dressed into the girl boy outfit, Souta deemed that they needed a third person to complete the band. So off they went to get Miroku. As the open the door they found Miroku in mid-jump scream about hell and some one named Tom Jones. He jump off Kagome night stand knocking over the lamp and taking it with him as he land one the bed. He then started swimming or some thing similar to it.

If he didn't look so happy he swear that the man was having a dream about droning.

Souta picks from behind Inuyasha.

"Did he just say panties."

Souta ask wide eyed.

Inuaysha ignores Souat and opt for shaking Miroku till he come to his since or his head fall off.

He hope for the later

As Miroku calms down he realizes who touching him. He crawls back on he had and flip of the bed.

"Inuyasha what is the meaning of this intrusion where are my pant...

...what the hell are you wearing."

Inuyasha was about to explains but Souta jumping.

" Boy Band get lots of girls and they all have panties."

He then hand Miroku a outfit similar to his and Inuyasha and walks out with Inuyasha tagging behind.

While he left Miroku to change Inuyasha stumbled into Buyo in the hall.

"Meow..."

The cat say. Inuyasha takes a step back and bumps into Miroku sending them tumbling back into Kagome's room right onto the bed.

"Meow..."

"I hate that dammed cat."

Inuyasha say as he turn over on Miroku not even bothering to be freaked out about their proximate any longer.

"Me too."

Miroku tell him.

Behind them Souta enters the room.

"No you guy you have to act all gay and sensitive not be it."

He then strokes his chin.

"But ladies like a challenge to I guess we can keep the man love act but I am not participating I any of you games."

He then untagged them and dragged them off to his room to show them the step and the song he's written.

That's all for now and maybe a long time it was had writing this. I don't really know where to go from here. I had this story planned out. And if you didn't know all my planned story take a long time. I hope you enjoyed this long chapter. It's 9 pages long. I'd like it if you give me some advise of what the next chapter should have.

An as always Pleas review.


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